its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize