I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
