The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
