My first STD was from a foam party
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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