I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize