Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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