Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
