lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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