Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize