I accidentally had phone sex last night
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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