dude i'm inner monologue high
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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