weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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