this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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