I'm drive I can fine osifer
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
