OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
