Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
