quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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