You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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