ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
