i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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