Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
