i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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