The maid of honor just puked.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
