The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
