He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
