The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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