OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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