I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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