so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
worst night to have a conscience
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
