ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
