I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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