oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
