The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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