it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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