I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
