dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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