How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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