I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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