we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
