feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
