Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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