honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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