o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
