Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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