There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
