My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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