i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
