U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
