I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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