i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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