wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
