I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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