called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
