Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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