Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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