I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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