you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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