i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
