OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
