home. puking in laundry basket.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
