who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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