is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
bring money and cleavage
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
