the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
