I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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