I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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