Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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