I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you would pick up someone in the library
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
